Marie's Story
LIGHTWORKER’S WAY
Column 41
(As published in the Spiritual Niagara Newsletter February 2014)
**The names have been changed since the original publishing as the use of the real names caused issue with the courts....
Column 41
(As published in the Spiritual Niagara Newsletter February 2014)
**The names have been changed since the original publishing as the use of the real names caused issue with the courts....
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We're afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can't. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher
-------------------------------------------------------------
Hello once again my friends. I’m getting right to the needed point this month. As I mentioned last month, my plan for 2014 is to share stories of others – of other lightworkers more specifically; stories of struggle to awakening, of wobble to sprint, so that we may further learn, grow and shine even brighter. The idea truly excited me, and so I committed to it by writing about it.
But then, where to start?
I’ve made a list. It’s quite a list, I’m tellin’ ya. Niagara Region, you are loaded with magnificence! The land sparkles!
But who first?
It didn’t take long before it became shiningly obvious.
She was referred to me in November of 2010 by a psychic/medium friend. “Christine, I was just interviewed by her for her online site. She’s posting interviews. She’s already got many online. I think this would be good for you. I think you’d really like her. She’s so sweet.”
It felt right. And I contacted her. She was the woman who “outted me” online, posting my hour-long interview, explaining what my extraordinary purposes in this lifetime are, and where I had currently found myself living in the middle of. I trusted her. She was a woman who instantly became my friend. Who never ran from my story. Who always supported me, no matter how frighteningly weird it got. She has been special to me since we met.
And she fondly reminds me of Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell would fly about, full of light, touching everyone she came in contact with, sharing her light. I learned the term “lightworker” by this new friend’s example.
This is also the woman I watched sink deeper and deeper into emotional terrorism, quietly, inside the supposed-sanctuary of her own home. I watched her slide carefully to the edge of this black hole. I held my breath, and waited. I waited for that moment to reach out and grab hold of her.
This is a woman I watched have her life explode in her face, her perceptions in general shattered.
Several months have passed. The other night, sitting in my office, on the phone with her, interviewing her, she became the woman who simply blew me away.
This is Marie’s story, a story of a crystal woman’s unconditional love: unusually, unexpected – unbelievably remarkable.
After a little girl chat, I asked her 5 questions that took almost 2 hours to answer. Her words came out of her like a wave.
Marie, when did you start to realize you were different – what we would consider now, having a sense of a “lightworker purpose and calling”?
“I guess I was in Grade 3, when I was selected in school to go with the children that needed more help. It was quite an opportunity. I got to lead them. I saw them as beautiful, not slow. One of them was my friend. She had a cleft palette. I didn’t see it. I only saw love. I couldn’t understand people’s negative thinking and feeling about others. I didn’t understand why people were so mean to her and the others. I didn’t look at the world the way other people did. I didn’t see war, violence, or hurting. I only saw love.”
We talked a little bit further about the confusion in her childhood over the mean things she would see others do. I could hear the hurt in her voice that still followed her for the picked-on children back then.
We continued looking at her life as she got older. She reflected on when it all began to change for her.
What were your obstacles on your path to awakening as a lightworker?
After only a few seconds’ thought, “First of all, I think it’s the obstacles that awaken us.” She had already gotten ahead of me, of course.
“During these early times in my life, I went within. I was born knowing to do this. I was never drawn to watching TV. I always from the start, did what I thought and felt was right, coming from the inside. It was just the thing to do. I always dressed the way I wanted to, not following trends.
“The obstacles, I feel, started when I learned to listen to external voices, when I shut off my ‘internal guidance system’.
“I met my husband Darryl in 2005. I instantly fell in love with him. The first few weeks he started verbally picking apart my body, by using ‘helpful hints’ and acting like he knew better. I trusted him because I loved him. I never in a million years thought he would ever hurt me. He dismantled me and the way I thought and felt, chipping away every day. This was combined with my believing that what everyone said was coming from a place of pure intention.”
We talked about psychic vampires and how people can use certain strategies to steal other people’s power and energy by manipulating their very core – their beliefs, their feelings and their thoughts. This is a very common and very effective way to seriously dim the light of a lightworker.
The conversation led deeper into the dark days of the end of her marriage. It was only mere months ago that there was no way I could have asked Amy the next question. Denial had firmly sunk its teeth necessarily into Marie’s mind. It had been necessary for her survival.
However, the other night I was speaking to a very different Marie.
Life often gives us opportunity for growth – awareness, healing, lessons learned. What would you say was the opportunity in your life that catapulted you into a different direction?
“I would say it was my relationship with Darryl. A very insightful friend said to me a while back, ‘He saw the most beautiful butterfly. He took her and put her in a jar. As time went on, there was less and less air in the jar until it became hard for the butterfly to breathe.’ That’s the amount of control he had on me.
“I couldn’t choose to leave the house. He yelled at me and put me down or ignored me for hours if I made a simple suggestion. There was a day – you know when they say there are some people who when they die, they don’t know that they’ve died? – Well, there was a day when I actually asked Darryl if I had died. I felt that dead and numb inside. At that low point, I was in denial. So many people were trying to tell me what was happening to me.
This is Marie’s story, a story of a crystal woman’s unconditional love: unusually, unexpected – unbelievably remarkable.
After a little girl chat, I asked her 5 questions that took almost 2 hours to answer. Her words came out of her like a wave.
Marie, when did you start to realize you were different – what we would consider now, having a sense of a “lightworker purpose and calling”?
“I guess I was in Grade 3, when I was selected in school to go with the children that needed more help. It was quite an opportunity. I got to lead them. I saw them as beautiful, not slow. One of them was my friend. She had a cleft palette. I didn’t see it. I only saw love. I couldn’t understand people’s negative thinking and feeling about others. I didn’t understand why people were so mean to her and the others. I didn’t look at the world the way other people did. I didn’t see war, violence, or hurting. I only saw love.”
We talked a little bit further about the confusion in her childhood over the mean things she would see others do. I could hear the hurt in her voice that still followed her for the picked-on children back then.
We continued looking at her life as she got older. She reflected on when it all began to change for her.
What were your obstacles on your path to awakening as a lightworker?
After only a few seconds’ thought, “First of all, I think it’s the obstacles that awaken us.” She had already gotten ahead of me, of course.
“During these early times in my life, I went within. I was born knowing to do this. I was never drawn to watching TV. I always from the start, did what I thought and felt was right, coming from the inside. It was just the thing to do. I always dressed the way I wanted to, not following trends.
“The obstacles, I feel, started when I learned to listen to external voices, when I shut off my ‘internal guidance system’.
“I met my husband Darryl in 2005. I instantly fell in love with him. The first few weeks he started verbally picking apart my body, by using ‘helpful hints’ and acting like he knew better. I trusted him because I loved him. I never in a million years thought he would ever hurt me. He dismantled me and the way I thought and felt, chipping away every day. This was combined with my believing that what everyone said was coming from a place of pure intention.”
We talked about psychic vampires and how people can use certain strategies to steal other people’s power and energy by manipulating their very core – their beliefs, their feelings and their thoughts. This is a very common and very effective way to seriously dim the light of a lightworker.
The conversation led deeper into the dark days of the end of her marriage. It was only mere months ago that there was no way I could have asked Amy the next question. Denial had firmly sunk its teeth necessarily into Marie’s mind. It had been necessary for her survival.
However, the other night I was speaking to a very different Marie.
Life often gives us opportunity for growth – awareness, healing, lessons learned. What would you say was the opportunity in your life that catapulted you into a different direction?
“I would say it was my relationship with Darryl. A very insightful friend said to me a while back, ‘He saw the most beautiful butterfly. He took her and put her in a jar. As time went on, there was less and less air in the jar until it became hard for the butterfly to breathe.’ That’s the amount of control he had on me.
“I couldn’t choose to leave the house. He yelled at me and put me down or ignored me for hours if I made a simple suggestion. There was a day – you know when they say there are some people who when they die, they don’t know that they’ve died? – Well, there was a day when I actually asked Darryl if I had died. I felt that dead and numb inside. At that low point, I was in denial. So many people were trying to tell me what was happening to me.
“And then the day came that everything everyone said would happen, happened. There were times I thought he was going to kill me.
“I would have to say it was that one day that catapulted me into a whole new direction - different living quarters, different life, the beginning of a different way of feeling and thinking, a different me - but first, there were the hours in the police station and the days in the women’s shelter. The terror went from that day on, for months. While in the shelter, I remember being terrified he was going to take my child. He was spreading rumors, getting on my facebook page, texting my friends using my cell phone, contacting my boss. It just got worse and worse. I didn’t think I could take anymore.”
Her voice suddenly changed. Lightened.
Until one day I woke up and instead of feeling fear and anger, I started feeling such love and appreciation for Darryl. I was experiencing love because the transformation he was causing. It just washed over me and I shifted in that instant. Sometimes I feel sadness and sympathy for him, but I also feel unconditional love for him. I truly hope he finds his own healing.”
“I would have to say it was that one day that catapulted me into a whole new direction - different living quarters, different life, the beginning of a different way of feeling and thinking, a different me - but first, there were the hours in the police station and the days in the women’s shelter. The terror went from that day on, for months. While in the shelter, I remember being terrified he was going to take my child. He was spreading rumors, getting on my facebook page, texting my friends using my cell phone, contacting my boss. It just got worse and worse. I didn’t think I could take anymore.”
Her voice suddenly changed. Lightened.
Until one day I woke up and instead of feeling fear and anger, I started feeling such love and appreciation for Darryl. I was experiencing love because the transformation he was causing. It just washed over me and I shifted in that instant. Sometimes I feel sadness and sympathy for him, but I also feel unconditional love for him. I truly hope he finds his own healing.”
And then she said the words that blew me away. It wasn’t just what she said but how she said it. “When you can look at someone who almost destroyed you and can feel such love for that person – that is beautiful. The peace I have now because I’ve truly experienced unconditional love… I feel so blessed to have had this experience.”
I sat in silence, with tears slipping down my cheeks. She was being a crystal woman, true to the core. I didn’t mind letting her know how incredible she was, in that moment.
Then we continued.
How would you say your hardships have opened doors and cleared the fog so you can start to see your life mission and your “lightworker trade”?
“I’m a communicator and I guess now I’ve got something to communicate”, she laughed. “I was left with nothing and within 6 months I didn’t have to think about money at all. I’ve had $1,000’s of dollars and things sent anonymously. My story has gotten around.” She said humbly.
“He keeps trying to financially abuse me and it seems for everything he tries, I get back double. Please understand, it’s not about the money for me. I’ve learned that karma exists. It may not come direct but the universe provides in one way or another.
“I will go on to assist others. As a lightworker, I would like to shine the light on abuse. I feel I’d like to get into speaking. I’ve already started.”
I shared with her that shortly after the rug was pulled out from underneath her, she started to sound a little like an advocate on her facebook posts. She thought a little about that, then continued, “I want to ask society why is it that it allows spousal abusers to have equal access to a child. Yes, I would like to work on that one. I’ve been told, ‘Just because a man abuses his spouse doesn’t mean he abuses his children’ by the courts.”
Asking the final question gave Marie the chance to continue in her blossoming advocate stance.
Any other message you would like to give the Spiritual Niagara readers at this time?
She had been sounding a little tired, but when she took off with these words, her energy was re-renewed. Marie has been gifted a fire in her belly. “I wanted to have a perfect life and a beautiful marriage. I held on to that. People can really do damage to themselves by holding on to that image for too long, where they shouldn’t.
“It’s ok to let go of that image.
“I’ve learned 1-4 women are abused. I now look at the women in the grocery store and know, where I see 20 women in that store, 5 women are being or have been abused.”
It was time for both of us to get some sleep. This was such an inspiring conversation with Marie, but it was also late and passed both of our bedtimes.
Marie’s last words, “There is pressure all around to stay in it. There is the fear of the unknown when thinking of leaving it. To all the women, if you are at that cusp, just jump and there will be so many people there to catch you.”
Thank you beautiful Marie.
Light and Love to you all,
~Christine
Characteristics of Emotional Abuse
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/
25 Characteristics of Crystal Children
http://cinnamoncrow.wordpress.com/2012/07/11/25-traits-of-crystal-children/
I sat in silence, with tears slipping down my cheeks. She was being a crystal woman, true to the core. I didn’t mind letting her know how incredible she was, in that moment.
Then we continued.
How would you say your hardships have opened doors and cleared the fog so you can start to see your life mission and your “lightworker trade”?
“I’m a communicator and I guess now I’ve got something to communicate”, she laughed. “I was left with nothing and within 6 months I didn’t have to think about money at all. I’ve had $1,000’s of dollars and things sent anonymously. My story has gotten around.” She said humbly.
“He keeps trying to financially abuse me and it seems for everything he tries, I get back double. Please understand, it’s not about the money for me. I’ve learned that karma exists. It may not come direct but the universe provides in one way or another.
“I will go on to assist others. As a lightworker, I would like to shine the light on abuse. I feel I’d like to get into speaking. I’ve already started.”
I shared with her that shortly after the rug was pulled out from underneath her, she started to sound a little like an advocate on her facebook posts. She thought a little about that, then continued, “I want to ask society why is it that it allows spousal abusers to have equal access to a child. Yes, I would like to work on that one. I’ve been told, ‘Just because a man abuses his spouse doesn’t mean he abuses his children’ by the courts.”
Asking the final question gave Marie the chance to continue in her blossoming advocate stance.
Any other message you would like to give the Spiritual Niagara readers at this time?
She had been sounding a little tired, but when she took off with these words, her energy was re-renewed. Marie has been gifted a fire in her belly. “I wanted to have a perfect life and a beautiful marriage. I held on to that. People can really do damage to themselves by holding on to that image for too long, where they shouldn’t.
“It’s ok to let go of that image.
“I’ve learned 1-4 women are abused. I now look at the women in the grocery store and know, where I see 20 women in that store, 5 women are being or have been abused.”
It was time for both of us to get some sleep. This was such an inspiring conversation with Marie, but it was also late and passed both of our bedtimes.
Marie’s last words, “There is pressure all around to stay in it. There is the fear of the unknown when thinking of leaving it. To all the women, if you are at that cusp, just jump and there will be so many people there to catch you.”
Thank you beautiful Marie.
Light and Love to you all,
~Christine
Characteristics of Emotional Abuse
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/
25 Characteristics of Crystal Children
http://cinnamoncrow.wordpress.com/2012/07/11/25-traits-of-crystal-children/